When You Feel Undeserving of God’s Grace
My business has been thriving for 5 years. (I will write about my business soon) For the past 5 years, I had ups and downs. And once in a while, I can’t believe how God is blessing me with so much that I sometimes don’t know if I deserve all His blessings. But as the Christian saying goes, “It’s all by God’s grace!”
When I started my business, this is my plan: Make a lot of money, give tithes and offering, and enjoy the money and success that I have, plus the time freedom so I can serve God in the ministry. This plan created an idea that as long as I give back to God, I can do whatever I want with the money left. And because in this type of business that I can have more time because I can do things remotely, I once exhausted my time serving in ministries at church. Yes, I have been so active going to ministry meetings and just hanging out with the friends I serve with. Of course I enjoyed the company, but the problem is, whenever I go out, I have unlimited budget — I order anything from appetizer, to main course, to desserts, and heck, if there’s still a lot of time, we end up going to at least 2 places. Food trip! There are also times that I go out of town a lot, even just to Tagaytay and Subic, just to escape the metro. Crazy, right? This made me a really bad steward of God’s money. I give back because I know we are only stewards of money and it’s all God’s, but I think I never managed it well enough at that time. Because I thought, as long as I give, God is already happy with that. Since I gave to God first, I felt like what remains in my bank account is money at my disposal. I’m not into expensive things like buying super branded stuff, but my indulgence is into fine dining, extravagant vacations, and going out with my friends A LOT — not clubbing, but when you go out 3-4 times a week with friends for dinner or coffee, you will end up spending thousands of Pesos — think of food and gas. haha. And so I felt like living the life of working barely 2-3 hours a day yet making more money than most people do. It’s the Digital Marketer’s dream lifestyle! Ok, enough with the crazyness, just sharing some background right there. haha
Every year, business is getting bigger and better. Our revenue is doubling every year since I started my company in 2011. Last year, we did great but things didn’t turn out the way I have projected things. Yes, you guessed it right. My projected revenue was not hit, and my 2014 revenue was just half of my 2013. Many people probably didn’t know this but I have faced some challenges in the business last year. Hello, why would I tell people about this struggle? I’m still doing good in the business, still making more money than others, I guess. However, I praise God that in that year, He has opened my eyes to see the bigger picture.
In the first 3 years, I’m pretty much a one-woman team. In 2014, God give me a large US project where I got to hire 10-20 people so I started to learn how to manage people. At first it was really hard, I don’t like working with strangers that I hired from Facebook but God made me realize one thing when I saw my team growing, He wanted to use me to bless these people by having a job. And so it has been a blessing to be used by God. As I work with them, I was also blessed with their lives and I have seen why God placed them in my team. I could say, I have learned things from them. They have become my inspiration.
I may not have reached my goals last year, but I could say it was still an awesome year!
As much as you want to plan your life, it has a way of surprising you with unexpected things that will make you happier than you originally planned. It’s called God’s will.
Right now, I still don’t know how God will use me, but I have surrendered everything last year and have decided to keep the faith and just focus on Him. I am excited on what God has stored for me!
My greatest realization in 2014 that have inspired me to do better this year?
I realize that my business is my ministry. I thought before, I can only serve God in church, but I was wrong. I have learned that God wants to use me and my business to help people, support missionaries and outreaches. Whenever I think about this and thought of the first 3 years, I wish I didn’t waste time! God’s grace is always overwhelming. Now that I have seen the bigger picture of God’s greater plan, I have surrendered everything to Him. Jesus is my boss, He wants me to work diligently so He can use me to help people.
Counting my blessings. Because the 4th quarter is almost here!
This year is another awesome year. I could say that we may do better than last year. God has been giving me so much that I sometimes feel really undeserving. I am currently working with 2 foreign business partners where we have offices in UAE and UK, and maybe next year, in India and Manila. I have acquired a consulting project with a government agency. I have a couple of new local projects. And got 2 more US-wide projects. Lastly, I hope to maximize my own brands before this year ends! I am excited for my first expo in 2 weeks!!!
Right now, I am really overwhelmed with so many things going on. This is definitely ALL GOD!!! His Grace is enough. We don’t need to work super hard for it because He loves us so much that He wants to bless us. As long as we abide in God’s plan, His will shall prevail. And usually, it’s always better than our own plans! I can write another post about my “success” but it’s really by God’s Grace alone!
Whenever I feel undeserving of God’s Grace, I just pray and thank God for everything. He gives Grace to show love to us and extend it to other people. He gives love and mercy not because of anything we have done to earn it, but because God desires us to have it! Just like Jesus dying on the cross, we don’t deserve to get saved from Hell but He died for us. Because He loves us.
What is G.R.A.C.E.? God’s Redemption At Christ’s Expense.
Cheers and have a blessed Sunday!